God rest ye MARRIED gentlemen

Xmas - i've been told it's the most romantic season of the year, save for Valentine's Day which is just another over-hyped, over-commercialised date where merchants charge exorbitant prices for uncreative merchandise, and florists attribute 50% of the annual revenue. but i digress, back to the topic of marrying.

Case in Point 1:
an ex-fren, i call him my ex-fren cos we're not frens anymore - a 38 yr old man with a gf 12 yrs younger. why we r ex-frens now escapes my understanding - probably the result of some eccentric revelation that only makes sense to middle-aged men... ahhhh men in their 30s, love them or hate them... but that's another topic, for another day. as i was saying, i heard this ex=fren of mine is getting married, it kinda struck me enough for me to blog about it, simply becos he's a complete playboy in his late 30s, who has been in a relationship with his current gf for more than 3 years now, and he told me, he does NOT want to get married.

this conversation took place more than a year ago
me: so how long has it been? u and this gf?
ex-fren: 2 yrs plus
me: any plans?
ex-fren: what do u mean?
me: marriage??
ex-fren: nahhhh... dun dare to think abt it
me: huh? ur gf never spoke to u abt it?
ex-fren: she wants to get married, but i'm afraid - i dun tink i can afford to get married

he's a man, 38 years old, lives in his own HDB flat - with his own car. and he's worried about not being able to afford getting married? is getting married really that expensive? or is he more afraid of paying the non-financial price?

Case in point 2:
i have another fren, Z... who is notorious for his ability to charm women out of their pants and into his bed. when i knew him, i was 18 going on 19, he was 20 going on 21. surrounded by women, mostly infactuated by his way with words, he's not a fantastically good-looking guy - but then women r not visual creatures, they r more moved with feelings, which is one thing this guy is expert with handling... he's had his reasonable share of stable, long-term relationships.. so he isnt that much of a player.

then came the big announcement after graduation, he was getting married! at 25! who wud have thought he wud make the big decision to settle down at 25?! he told me his ex-lovers wept n begged him to reconsider. some turned vicious and got married just to spite him. but he was sure as hell that he wanted to marry this girl he's been with for a couple of years. and giving him my best wishes, i asked what gave him the inspiration to get married. he didnt use to believe in getting married. he says to get married, it's a decision u make on impulse, more an emotional moment, then a decision arrived at after rational analysis.

Case in point 3:
K is a guy who has a penchant for gross n crass things, imagine a guy who actually enjoys Jackass, u get the idea :)) he n me has this love-hate relationship, and he treats me like his little sister. he's an advocate for giving people second chances, cos he said his current wife, gave him one such chance that changed his life. if she were to pass a judgement on him based on his lifestyle before he met her, she would surely write him off as someone who's too wild for her.

he tells me all the time how thankful he is for his lovely wife. and how he's given up his playful lifestyle of pub-crawling and drinking, all because he found the girl whom he wants to spend his life with, now he is a really happily married man who leaves his saturdays for cleaning his house, mopping, windows, laundry bla... ain't love grand? heeee...
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so is it true? when men say they do not wan to b married... do they actually mean, they havent found the gal to marry?

are they waiting for the right girl? or does the girl become right once they r ready to get married?